Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Randomize
