I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
