Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
