it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Princesses don't give blow jobs
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
