When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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