she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
