woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
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