question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
