Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
