JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
