Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Randomize
