No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Just invented taco cereal.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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