those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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