I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
