I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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