I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
