Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
