Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
We are all done wearing pants today
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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