allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
