i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
