Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Randomize
