Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
