It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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