I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Four minutes until I can fart!
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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