no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
