All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
