Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
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