I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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