Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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