I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
