well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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