I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Randomize
