3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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