You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Randomize
