Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Randomize
