Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
