apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
