so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
