my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
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