youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
