im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
