im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
