Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
