Are we in a gay sports bar?
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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