So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
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