i think i have herpe
just one?
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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