ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
