im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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