The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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