Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
