Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
