That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
